Friday, December 31, 2010
Consciousness Cleanse Day 9 - The Power of Responsibility - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 9 - The Power of Responsibility - Oprah.com
Welcome to Day 9 of the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. Now that you have been liberated from the past , it's imperative that you begin today with a new commitment to love, honor, protect and respect the vulnerable, beautiful you that you are. It is your job to care for this sacred being who now stands before you and recognize that it needs you to be an emotional adult who is here for the sole purpose of tending to the true desires of its heart and soul.
To care for this new you at the highest level, the agent of change that you must invoke today is the power of responsibility. This is not the responsibility of yesterday. It is not a burden, a problem or a guilt-provoked afterthought. This is the responsibility that comes from responding to your own needs as an adult and building your competency and sense of personal authority one loving choice at a time. In essence, this is the sacred responsibility of choosing to hold and nourish a piece of God.
When you are standing in responsibility, nobody is coming to save you, nobody is coming to choose for you and nobody can shepherd this soul into the life it was meant to live but you. You are the mother, the father, the sister, the brother, the teacher and the guide for the soul that has been placed in your trust. And today, Day 9 of the consciousness cleanse, will give you the emotional and spiritual boost to step into these magnificent—and perfectly fitting—shoes.
As the emotional adult that you are today, write a letter to your soul telling it what a great honor it is to be the keeper of its flame, to be its partner and humble servant in ensuring that God's light gets expressed through its divine mission. And then ask your soul to show you in the hours and days to come what choices and decisions you need to make and what actions you can take in order to be 100 percent responsible for the deliverance of your soul's highest expression. Keep your journal close by so you can write down the answers you receive.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What is the one thing that is most important for you to take responsibility for in order to bring your goal to fruition?
Your Inner Goal: What need could you respond to within yourself that would help you to have access to the feeling you most desire?
Soul Food: I am a responsible adult who thrives in the world.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
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Consciousness Cleanse Day 9:
The Power of Responsibility
The Power of Responsibility
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 13, 2010
Oprah.com | January 13, 2010
To care for this new you at the highest level, the agent of change that you must invoke today is the power of responsibility. This is not the responsibility of yesterday. It is not a burden, a problem or a guilt-provoked afterthought. This is the responsibility that comes from responding to your own needs as an adult and building your competency and sense of personal authority one loving choice at a time. In essence, this is the sacred responsibility of choosing to hold and nourish a piece of God.
When you are standing in responsibility, nobody is coming to save you, nobody is coming to choose for you and nobody can shepherd this soul into the life it was meant to live but you. You are the mother, the father, the sister, the brother, the teacher and the guide for the soul that has been placed in your trust. And today, Day 9 of the consciousness cleanse, will give you the emotional and spiritual boost to step into these magnificent—and perfectly fitting—shoes.
- Listen to your meditation on responsibility
(6 minutes)
As the emotional adult that you are today, write a letter to your soul telling it what a great honor it is to be the keeper of its flame, to be its partner and humble servant in ensuring that God's light gets expressed through its divine mission. And then ask your soul to show you in the hours and days to come what choices and decisions you need to make and what actions you can take in order to be 100 percent responsible for the deliverance of your soul's highest expression. Keep your journal close by so you can write down the answers you receive.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What is the one thing that is most important for you to take responsibility for in order to bring your goal to fruition?
Your Inner Goal: What need could you respond to within yourself that would help you to have access to the feeling you most desire?
Soul Food: I am a responsible adult who thrives in the world.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Debbie on giving up the self you know
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Get Debbie Ford's exercises and audio meditations delivered straight to your in-box. Sign up now for our daily Thought for Today newsletter.
Consciousness Cleanse Day 7 - The Gift of Self-Acknowledgment - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 7 - The Gift of Self-Acknowledgment - Oprah.com
Welcome to Day 7 of the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. You began the process this week by stoking the flame of your desire and setting two goals—one for your inner world and one for your outer world. By taking the time each day to do your meditations and cleansing rituals, you are unhooking from the past and gently altering the fabric of your life. This is cause for celebration, and the sacred process of self-acknowledgment is the act of consciously and deliberately celebrating the best inyourself . By embracing self-acknowledgment —today's potent agent of change—you will take the next step in clearing out and opening up your consciousness for the powerhouse week ahead.
Self-acknowledgment boosts your emotional and spiritual immunity, giving you the strength you need to release the past and rise above fear, doubt or resignation. By affirming your own gifts and accomplishments, you build your confidence and increase your ability to build a brighter future. In the presence of your own loving attention, you create the inner conditions that are necessary to step into the next greatest evolution of yourself. Right now, there is a stronger, more vibrant, more inspired version of you that is wanting and waiting to emerge.
Beckoned by your emerging self today, pour yourself wholeheartedly into self-acknowledgment, deliberately turn your attention to all that you have done well in the past, to the qualities that you appreciate about yourself, to the courageous actions you've taken and to the contributions you've made to the people around you. Today is the day to focus 100 percent on what you value about yourself and on all that is going well in your life. As another expression of love, self-acknowledgment is truly a holy practice.
Imagine that your resistance to your emotions is based in fear. Tune in to the voice of fear. Listen to the judgments you hold on these emotions, and then write out everything you hear.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: Uplifted by the energy of celebration, what action could you take in the outer world today that will support the fulfillment of your goal? Do it with gusto.
Your Inner Goal: What could you see, hear or do today to activate the feeling that you want to permeate this year? Open your arms to it.
Soul Food: My worth is celebrated by all.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Get Debbie Ford's exercises and audio meditations delivered straight to your in-box. Sign up now for our daily Thought for Today newsletter.
Consciousness Cleanse Day 7:
The Gift of Self-Acknowledgment
The Gift of Self-Acknowledgment
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 10, 2010
Oprah.com | January 10, 2010
Self-acknowledgment boosts your emotional and spiritual immunity, giving you the strength you need to release the past and rise above fear, doubt or resignation. By affirming your own gifts and accomplishments, you build your confidence and increase your ability to build a brighter future. In the presence of your own loving attention, you create the inner conditions that are necessary to step into the next greatest evolution of yourself. Right now, there is a stronger, more vibrant, more inspired version of you that is wanting and waiting to emerge.
Beckoned by your emerging self today, pour yourself wholeheartedly into self-acknowledgment, deliberately turn your attention to all that you have done well in the past, to the qualities that you appreciate about yourself, to the courageous actions you've taken and to the contributions you've made to the people around you. Today is the day to focus 100 percent on what you value about yourself and on all that is going well in your life. As another expression of love, self-acknowledgment is truly a holy practice.
- Listen to your meditation on self-acknowledgment
Imagine that your resistance to your emotions is based in fear. Tune in to the voice of fear. Listen to the judgments you hold on these emotions, and then write out everything you hear.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: Uplifted by the energy of celebration, what action could you take in the outer world today that will support the fulfillment of your goal? Do it with gusto.
Your Inner Goal: What could you see, hear or do today to activate the feeling that you want to permeate this year? Open your arms to it.
Soul Food: My worth is celebrated by all.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Debbie on giving up the self you know
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Get Debbie Ford's exercises and audio meditations delivered straight to your in-box. Sign up now for our daily Thought for Today newsletter.
Consciousness Cleanse Day 8 - The Power of Liberation - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 8 - The Power of Liberation - Oprah.com
Welcome to the second week of the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse—seven stunning days of reclaiming your power on levels seen and unseen. As you prepare for these seven days, I ask that you take the time to really acknowledge how deeply you have traveled during Week 1. You did it! You devoted the first seven days to self-observation and self-inquiry to round up many of the beliefs, interpretations and habitual patterns of thinking and feeling that are no longer serving you. It's time now for a new way of being. It's time to be bold, to be radical in your willingness to reinvent yourself. The past need not stifle you one more day.
In order to achieve the goal you set for yourself on Day 1 and the feeling you most want to experience, you must move out of the past and open up to the present. You must awaken to a new day, a new time, where you are free to be all you ever imagined. I urge you to really let yourself imagine being free —emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. When you do, you will have access to what my friend Deepak Chopra would call the field of infinite possibilities—the field of consciousness where you are one with all that is, all that was and all that will be. This holy field of perception doesn't require any more time or miles or pain in order to arrive there. But I can't possibly emphasize enough that accessing it requires that you leave the past where it is meant to be…in the past.
When you invoke today's agent of change, called liberation , you are igniting the power to release all that reminds you of the past, everything that is symbolic of your anger, your suffering and your attachment to old ways of being. So take the leap with me today—drop the weight of the past, purge it, thank it, bless it and let it go. From this day forward, anytime you see anything that is unnecessary, throw it away or give it away.
Look around your present environment to see what's old, what's toxic, what's wasteful, and what you can't tolerate anymore—papers, old food, expired medicine, old diaries filled with toxic feelings. Schedule a 15-minute block of time today and spend three minutes each in your medicine cabinet, your bedside drawer, your closet, your kitchen cabinet and in the worst place in your house. Count how many items you can throw away or recycle. If you have more than 15 minutes, spend an hour. Do this until you feel liberated.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What could you liberate yourself from that would allow you to move more quickly to your desired goal?
Your Inner Goal: What could you do, or what could you allow, that could spark the feeling you want this year?
Soul Food: I am liberated from my past…a fantastic future awaits.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Get Debbie Ford's exercises and audio meditations delivered straight to your in-box. Sign up now for our daily Thought for Today newsletter.
Consciousness Cleanse Day 8:
The Power of Liberation
The Power of Liberation
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 11, 2010
Oprah.com | January 11, 2010
In order to achieve the goal you set for yourself on Day 1 and the feeling you most want to experience, you must move out of the past and open up to the present. You must awaken to a new day, a new time, where you are free to be all you ever imagined. I urge you to really let yourself imagine being free —emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. When you do, you will have access to what my friend Deepak Chopra would call the field of infinite possibilities—the field of consciousness where you are one with all that is, all that was and all that will be. This holy field of perception doesn't require any more time or miles or pain in order to arrive there. But I can't possibly emphasize enough that accessing it requires that you leave the past where it is meant to be…in the past.
When you invoke today's agent of change, called liberation , you are igniting the power to release all that reminds you of the past, everything that is symbolic of your anger, your suffering and your attachment to old ways of being. So take the leap with me today—drop the weight of the past, purge it, thank it, bless it and let it go. From this day forward, anytime you see anything that is unnecessary, throw it away or give it away.
- Listen to your meditation on liberation
Look around your present environment to see what's old, what's toxic, what's wasteful, and what you can't tolerate anymore—papers, old food, expired medicine, old diaries filled with toxic feelings. Schedule a 15-minute block of time today and spend three minutes each in your medicine cabinet, your bedside drawer, your closet, your kitchen cabinet and in the worst place in your house. Count how many items you can throw away or recycle. If you have more than 15 minutes, spend an hour. Do this until you feel liberated.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What could you liberate yourself from that would allow you to move more quickly to your desired goal?
Your Inner Goal: What could you do, or what could you allow, that could spark the feeling you want this year?
Soul Food: I am liberated from my past…a fantastic future awaits.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Debbie on giving up the self you know
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Get Debbie Ford's exercises and audio meditations delivered straight to your in-box. Sign up now for our daily Thought for Today newsletter.
Consciousness Cleanse Day 6 - The Gift of Surrender - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 6 - The Gift of Surrender - Oprah.com
Welcome to Day 6 of the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. You have been actively engaged for almost a week in a process that is designed to support you in reconnecting with your deepest purpose. Reflecting back on the previous five days, you have worked to identify and clear away the emotional and psychic debris that has littered the path to your future. It is natural that uncomfortable emotions may be surfacing as you navigate your inner world. But today the tide turns.
It is clear to me that one of the biggest obstacles we face as human beings is the pain we put ourselves through when we resist and wrestle with our emotions. It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions—especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief. But what is even more sobering is the fact that somewhere along the way, we decided we were supposed to handle all those emotions on our own.
So today, invoke the agent of change known as surrender in order to create a relaxing environment of tolerance and spaciousness within yourself. Surrender to your emotions—simply allow all of them to exist. When you stop resisting your emotions, you will quickly realize that your feelings are your friends. They are your soul's way to communicate with you and are meant to guide and inform you. When you allow your emotions to be as they are—just as you would encourage a child to do—something magical happens: They pass through you. The moment you surrender your emotions, they will be transformed into evolutionary fuel for your soul.
Imagine that your resistance to your emotions is based in fear. Tune in to the voice of fear. Listen to the judgments you hold on these emotions, and then write out everything you hear.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What action step could you take in the outer world today that will support the fulfillment of your goal? Can you do it immediately? If not, put it in your schedule and make it a priority.
Your Inner Goal: Identify an action you can take today that will give rise to the feeling you wish to embody this year. Take the action as if it's one of the most important things you will do today...because it is.
Soul Food: Divine goodness awaits me.
Debbie Ford is the national best-selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins). She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Consciousness Cleanse Day 6:
The Gift of Surrender
The Gift of Surrender
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 08, 2010
Oprah.com | January 08, 2010
It is clear to me that one of the biggest obstacles we face as human beings is the pain we put ourselves through when we resist and wrestle with our emotions. It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions—especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief. But what is even more sobering is the fact that somewhere along the way, we decided we were supposed to handle all those emotions on our own.
So today, invoke the agent of change known as surrender in order to create a relaxing environment of tolerance and spaciousness within yourself. Surrender to your emotions—simply allow all of them to exist. When you stop resisting your emotions, you will quickly realize that your feelings are your friends. They are your soul's way to communicate with you and are meant to guide and inform you. When you allow your emotions to be as they are—just as you would encourage a child to do—something magical happens: They pass through you. The moment you surrender your emotions, they will be transformed into evolutionary fuel for your soul.
- Listen to your meditation on surrender
Imagine that your resistance to your emotions is based in fear. Tune in to the voice of fear. Listen to the judgments you hold on these emotions, and then write out everything you hear.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What action step could you take in the outer world today that will support the fulfillment of your goal? Can you do it immediately? If not, put it in your schedule and make it a priority.
Your Inner Goal: Identify an action you can take today that will give rise to the feeling you wish to embody this year. Take the action as if it's one of the most important things you will do today...because it is.
Soul Food: Divine goodness awaits me.
Debbie Ford is the national best-selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins). She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Read an excerpt from the book
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Consciousness Cleanse Day 5 - The Gift of Reverence - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 5 - The Gift of Reverence - Oprah.com
Welcome to Day 5 of the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. Yesterday, you bathed your consciousness in the healing elixir of forgiveness . Forgiving yourself and others makes life sweeter. As it melts away bitterness and resentments, we feel better and care more. And we're able to contact the deep respect that defines today's agent of change—reverence.
You have spent the past four days deeply engaged in clearing your consciousness at the mental and emotional levels, and it is time now to turn your attention to your body—the outward manifestation of your consciousness. Releasing any habitual ways of looking at or talking about your body, I invite you to approach it today with reverence—valuing it and honoring it as the home of the divine, the resting place of the holy. When you know in your bones that your body is a sacred gift, you move in the world with an effortless grace. Gratitude and humility rise up spontaneously. When you treat yourself with the kindness and high regard that you would give to one of your spiritual heroes, your body becomes the epicenter of quiet joy rather than a battlefield for the ego.
So if you have been suffering with physical ailments or even a spiritual emptiness, I want to share with you what I know to be true: The more love and reverence you give your body, the better you will feel. The more attention you give your sacred container, the more divine power it will be able to hold. To step into reverence for your body, you must pardon yourself for all you have done and not done to care for it. You must bless what works and accept and embrace all you perceive to be wrong. You must bring your attention to the beautiful job it does each day to keep in the game of life. And bless it for the opportunity it gives you to evolve your soul.
Bless your body, and it will bless you back. This is your sacred task today.
Write a letter to your body asking for forgiveness. If you knew that your body was the holy container of the Divine, what do you need to say you're sorry for?
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: Today, identify one thing that you can give up for the next 16 days to increase your level of reverence. What habit, behavior, belief or self-talk violates the respect, dignity, honor and tenderness you have for your body?
Your Inner Goal: What could you do to evoke your inner feeling today? Take that action.
Soul Food: I revere my body as a sacred container of the divine.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Consciousness Cleanse Day 5:
The Gift of Reverence
The Gift of Reverence
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 07, 2010
Oprah.com | January 07, 2010
You have spent the past four days deeply engaged in clearing your consciousness at the mental and emotional levels, and it is time now to turn your attention to your body—the outward manifestation of your consciousness. Releasing any habitual ways of looking at or talking about your body, I invite you to approach it today with reverence—valuing it and honoring it as the home of the divine, the resting place of the holy. When you know in your bones that your body is a sacred gift, you move in the world with an effortless grace. Gratitude and humility rise up spontaneously. When you treat yourself with the kindness and high regard that you would give to one of your spiritual heroes, your body becomes the epicenter of quiet joy rather than a battlefield for the ego.
So if you have been suffering with physical ailments or even a spiritual emptiness, I want to share with you what I know to be true: The more love and reverence you give your body, the better you will feel. The more attention you give your sacred container, the more divine power it will be able to hold. To step into reverence for your body, you must pardon yourself for all you have done and not done to care for it. You must bless what works and accept and embrace all you perceive to be wrong. You must bring your attention to the beautiful job it does each day to keep in the game of life. And bless it for the opportunity it gives you to evolve your soul.
Bless your body, and it will bless you back. This is your sacred task today.
- Listen to your meditation on reverence
Write a letter to your body asking for forgiveness. If you knew that your body was the holy container of the Divine, what do you need to say you're sorry for?
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: Today, identify one thing that you can give up for the next 16 days to increase your level of reverence. What habit, behavior, belief or self-talk violates the respect, dignity, honor and tenderness you have for your body?
Your Inner Goal: What could you do to evoke your inner feeling today? Take that action.
Soul Food: I revere my body as a sacred container of the divine.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Read an excerpt from the book
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Consciousness Cleanse Day 4 - The Gift of Forgiveness - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 4 - The Gift of Forgiveness - Oprah.com
To transcend limitations and form positive new patterns of life based on who you know you can be rather than who you were yesterday, you must give up the modes of thinking, feeling and behaving that only keep you chained to your past . Although you may have felt at a loss as to how to make this liberating shift, you've been holding the key all along: It is forgiveness—your next agent of change. Releasing the invisible ties to those who have left you, betrayed you, disappointed you or hurt you, you open up to higher realms of love, peace and joy. Without forgiving them and cutting the cords of resentment, you continue to be imprisoned by the very people you've spent years (or a lifetime) trying to get away from and you are bound to the incidents that caused the resentment in the first place. And because the outer world is a steadfast reflection of your inner world, these resentment and grudges ensure that you re-create situations that spark the same bad feelings you want to escape from. Resentments and grudges are two of the main culprits that perpetuate cycles of self-abuse and victimhood. Stowed away inside you like parasites, they deplete you of your God-given life force and separate you from your inherent worth, your joy and the love in your heart.
Today I want to ignite the fire in you to fight for your freedom, to fight your way out of the prison of the toxic beliefs and emotions that keep you exiled from your own heart. As you say goodbye to lingering disappointments and unattended grief, you will discover that every person, situation and painful incident comes bearing gifts. Free of the pain that has caused you to react instead of act, to shut down instead of open up, to push away rather than allow in and to judge instead of love, you can begin your life anew.
As the gifts are often hidden from you until you take the courageous step into forgiveness, you are about to discover that Day 4 of the consciousness cleanse is a turning point in the process.
Write a letter expressing all the pain and grief you've been holding on to and then in your letter, ask your highest self for release from the prison of your resentments, grudges and disappointments.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What could you do today to forgive? What is one action you could take in the outer world today that will bring you closer to your goal? Schedule a time to take that action.
Your Inner Goal: What action could you take or what thought could you think to evoke the feeling you identified on Day 1 of the cleanse?
Soul Food: Forgiveness is my ticket to freedom.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Consciousness Cleanse Day 4:
The Gift of Forgiveness
The Gift of Forgiveness
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 06, 2010
Oprah.com | January 06, 2010
Today I want to ignite the fire in you to fight for your freedom, to fight your way out of the prison of the toxic beliefs and emotions that keep you exiled from your own heart. As you say goodbye to lingering disappointments and unattended grief, you will discover that every person, situation and painful incident comes bearing gifts. Free of the pain that has caused you to react instead of act, to shut down instead of open up, to push away rather than allow in and to judge instead of love, you can begin your life anew.
As the gifts are often hidden from you until you take the courageous step into forgiveness, you are about to discover that Day 4 of the consciousness cleanse is a turning point in the process.
- Listen to your meditation on forgiveness
Write a letter expressing all the pain and grief you've been holding on to and then in your letter, ask your highest self for release from the prison of your resentments, grudges and disappointments.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What could you do today to forgive? What is one action you could take in the outer world today that will bring you closer to your goal? Schedule a time to take that action.
Your Inner Goal: What action could you take or what thought could you think to evoke the feeling you identified on Day 1 of the cleanse?
Soul Food: Forgiveness is my ticket to freedom.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Read an excerpt from the book
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Consciousness Cleanse Day 2 - The Gift of Self-Awareness - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 2 - The Gift of Self-Awareness - Oprah.com
Welcome to Day 2 of the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. I'm delighted to be here with you as we continue this life-changing journey. Now that you have brought your one inner desire and your one outer desire to the surface of your consciousness, it is time to turn your attention to that which is secretly (or maybe not so secretly) standing in the way of having what you want and fulfilling your soul's deepest desire.
It is our interpretation of the past, our limiting beliefs and our undigested pain that stop us from being able to move forward with clear direction. And one of mechanisms that keeps all of that active within us is our attachment to seeing our lives in a particular way. So today I ask you to invoke the agent of change called self-awareness to begin the process of digesting and releasing the toxic perspective that keeps you from being able to design a future based on your soul's desire. Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad. This agent of change asks you to view your life as though you were watching a movie, looking at your life from the vantage point of a neutral observer in order to gain a different perspective. Now imagine for a moment that it is your perspective that is standing in the way of your desired future. If this is true, are you willing to shift the way you see yourself, others and the world?
Ask yourself: "What decisions have I made? What assumptions have I drawn about my life that are keeping me stuck repeating the past? What beliefs have I adopted that are draining my life force and robbing me of my desired future? And what do I actually say to myself throughout the day that keeps any negativity alive?" As my friend Deepak Chopra says, "Nonjudgment creates silence of the mind." And silence of the mind, my friends, allows us to create unimaginable futures. A new perspective can quiet your mind.
Write down your positive thumbs-up movie review of the life you saw during the meditation. Write out the experiences that you are still making wrong and the negative perspectives you may still be holding. Make sure to write out anything from your past that appears to be keeping you stuck or would keep you from reaching your desired result.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What is one action you could take in the outer world today that will bring you closer to your goal? Schedule a time to take the action today.
Your Inner Goal: What could you do or what thought could you think today that would evoke the feeling you want to experience most this year? Take that action or think that thought today.
Soul Food: Self-awareness is my key to freedom.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Consciousness Cleanse Day 2:
The Gift of Self-Awareness
The Gift of Self-Awareness
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 05, 2010
Oprah.com | January 05, 2010
It is our interpretation of the past, our limiting beliefs and our undigested pain that stop us from being able to move forward with clear direction. And one of mechanisms that keeps all of that active within us is our attachment to seeing our lives in a particular way. So today I ask you to invoke the agent of change called self-awareness to begin the process of digesting and releasing the toxic perspective that keeps you from being able to design a future based on your soul's desire. Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad. This agent of change asks you to view your life as though you were watching a movie, looking at your life from the vantage point of a neutral observer in order to gain a different perspective. Now imagine for a moment that it is your perspective that is standing in the way of your desired future. If this is true, are you willing to shift the way you see yourself, others and the world?
Ask yourself: "What decisions have I made? What assumptions have I drawn about my life that are keeping me stuck repeating the past? What beliefs have I adopted that are draining my life force and robbing me of my desired future? And what do I actually say to myself throughout the day that keeps any negativity alive?" As my friend Deepak Chopra says, "Nonjudgment creates silence of the mind." And silence of the mind, my friends, allows us to create unimaginable futures. A new perspective can quiet your mind.
- Listen to your meditation on self-awareness
Write down your positive thumbs-up movie review of the life you saw during the meditation. Write out the experiences that you are still making wrong and the negative perspectives you may still be holding. Make sure to write out anything from your past that appears to be keeping you stuck or would keep you from reaching your desired result.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What is one action you could take in the outer world today that will bring you closer to your goal? Schedule a time to take the action today.
Your Inner Goal: What could you do or what thought could you think today that would evoke the feeling you want to experience most this year? Take that action or think that thought today.
Soul Food: Self-awareness is my key to freedom.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Read an excerpt from the book
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Consciousness Cleanse Day 3 - The Gift of Release - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 3 - The Gift of Release - Oprah.com
Welcome to Day 3 of The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. As you will experience in this process, each day builds upon the last. The work you did yesterday on becoming aware of the perspective through which you view your life prepared you perfectly for today's extraordinary agent of change: release. As you become aware of what has robbed you of the purity of an innocent mind, a clear heart and a strong body, you will be deeply served by letting go of those familiar limitations. Release, letting go and the shift in perception that accompanies it are the heart of all transformation.
Yesterday, you became aware of the negative interpretations, experiences and beliefs that have plagued your past. Now imagine that for every negative thing that has ever been said or done to you, a little pellet of pesticide has entered your bloodstream. And, on top of that, think about the things you have said to yourself, the anxieties and insecurities you've obsessed over, the fearful judgments you have believed to be true. Imagine all these damaging things as little pellets of pesticide that have entered your consciousness, blocking your ability to see the grandeur of your divinity. These pollutants have taken a toll, haven't they? They have sapped your energy and dimmed your inner light.
But here is the fabulous truth that I'll keep coming back to: Even if those toxins have been coursing through your bloodstream—and your mindstream—for decades, you can release every bit of it. You can transmute it. You can be free. You can release behaviors that you make visible into the outer world (such as overspending, gossiping or avoiding exercise) and you can release the things that hold you back in the privacy of your inner being (such as harboring resentments, belittling yourself with your thoughts or obsessing over a lost love relationship).
Today is the day to open the door and begin the holy process of releasing it all and letting your holiest self sweep out your cellar and haul away the toxic mold of the past.
Write out all the details of what you need to release in order to move closer to your goal for the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. When you are done writing, take the pages and do a ritual of release with them. Rip them up into small pieces, flush them down the toilet, throw them in the trash, toss them in the fireplace. And as you do, recite these words: "I give this to you, God, to transform into nectar for my soul. I let go of all that has taken up space in my mind, body and psyche. I give to you all the pain that I've been unable to let go of. Today, I ask that you turn what has formerly been toxic into fuel for my future."
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What could you release today? What is one action you could take in the outer world today that will bring you closer to your goal? Take that action.
Your Inner Goal: Identify an action you can take or a thought you can think today that will give you the feeling you are seeking in 2010.
Soul Food: I am released from the toxicity of my past.
Debbie Ford is the national best-selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins). She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Consciousness Cleanse Day 3:
The Gift of Release
The Gift of Release
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 05, 2010
Oprah.com | January 05, 2010
Yesterday, you became aware of the negative interpretations, experiences and beliefs that have plagued your past. Now imagine that for every negative thing that has ever been said or done to you, a little pellet of pesticide has entered your bloodstream. And, on top of that, think about the things you have said to yourself, the anxieties and insecurities you've obsessed over, the fearful judgments you have believed to be true. Imagine all these damaging things as little pellets of pesticide that have entered your consciousness, blocking your ability to see the grandeur of your divinity. These pollutants have taken a toll, haven't they? They have sapped your energy and dimmed your inner light.
But here is the fabulous truth that I'll keep coming back to: Even if those toxins have been coursing through your bloodstream—and your mindstream—for decades, you can release every bit of it. You can transmute it. You can be free. You can release behaviors that you make visible into the outer world (such as overspending, gossiping or avoiding exercise) and you can release the things that hold you back in the privacy of your inner being (such as harboring resentments, belittling yourself with your thoughts or obsessing over a lost love relationship).
Today is the day to open the door and begin the holy process of releasing it all and letting your holiest self sweep out your cellar and haul away the toxic mold of the past.
- Listen to your meditation on release
Write out all the details of what you need to release in order to move closer to your goal for the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. When you are done writing, take the pages and do a ritual of release with them. Rip them up into small pieces, flush them down the toilet, throw them in the trash, toss them in the fireplace. And as you do, recite these words: "I give this to you, God, to transform into nectar for my soul. I let go of all that has taken up space in my mind, body and psyche. I give to you all the pain that I've been unable to let go of. Today, I ask that you turn what has formerly been toxic into fuel for my future."
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What could you release today? What is one action you could take in the outer world today that will bring you closer to your goal? Take that action.
Your Inner Goal: Identify an action you can take or a thought you can think today that will give you the feeling you are seeking in 2010.
Soul Food: I am released from the toxicity of my past.
Debbie Ford is the national best-selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins). She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Not sure if you're ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Read an excerpt from the book
- Find out more about the consciousness cleanse
Consciousness Cleanse Day 1 - The Gift of Desire - Oprah.com
Consciousness Cleanse Day 1 - The Gift of Desire - Oprah.com
Welcome to Day 1 of the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. I'm thrilled that you've chosen to join me in this journey. I promise you that this is a day that can radically alter your life and bring about significant, important and inspiring changes. On Day 1, it's imperative that you bring forth your soul's greatest desire, that you pick one goal to achieve in the outer world and one goal to achieve in your inner world in the next 21 days.
You might ask, "Why is this important?" It is because desire is the spark that ignites the flame of your soul and illuminates your innate creativity, imagination and vision. On this day, you will summon one of the most powerful agents of change in the universe—desire. In its purest form, your soul's desire is a magnet pulling you toward the life you want to live. Your desires will source you with the inspiration to release your outdated beliefs and let go of whatever behavior is keeping you stuck in the past. Your soul's desires compel you to grow, evolve and move closer to your highest potential. Beneath the surface of your ego's insatiable cravings, your authentic desires are waiting patiently for you to acknowledge, claim and express them.
So today is the day for you to evoke two desires for 2010 that will lead you to joy, fulfillment and the next greatest evolution of yourself. These desires will act as your guide and your focus point through this life-altering process.
Take these next few minutes to go inside to that place where you have all the wisdom you need to live a life you love.
Write down the area of your life that most needs your attention right now and then write out all the details you saw of your soul's vision for this part of your life. What will that part of your life look like? How will achieving your goal change your life? How will it change the life of those around you? When you reach your goal, when you fulfill that desire, what will it make room for? Write that all down.
Then write down your inner goal. What is the one feeling you desire to feel most this year? How will you act differently if you were feeling that feeling all the time? How would people around you benefit? What would be different in your world?Write it out in great detail.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What is one action you can take today that will move you one step closer to your soul's vision? Make a commitment to take that action.
Your Inner Goal: What is one action you can take or one thought you can think that will support you in having more of the feeling you most desire?Take that action or think that thought today.
Soul Food: I am worthy of living my heart's desires.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
Consciousness Cleanse Day 1:
The Gift of Desire
The Gift of Desire
By Debbie Ford
Oprah.com | January 05, 2010
Oprah.com | January 05, 2010
You might ask, "Why is this important?" It is because desire is the spark that ignites the flame of your soul and illuminates your innate creativity, imagination and vision. On this day, you will summon one of the most powerful agents of change in the universe—desire. In its purest form, your soul's desire is a magnet pulling you toward the life you want to live. Your desires will source you with the inspiration to release your outdated beliefs and let go of whatever behavior is keeping you stuck in the past. Your soul's desires compel you to grow, evolve and move closer to your highest potential. Beneath the surface of your ego's insatiable cravings, your authentic desires are waiting patiently for you to acknowledge, claim and express them.
So today is the day for you to evoke two desires for 2010 that will lead you to joy, fulfillment and the next greatest evolution of yourself. These desires will act as your guide and your focus point through this life-altering process.
Take these next few minutes to go inside to that place where you have all the wisdom you need to live a life you love.
- Listen to your meditation on desire
Write down the area of your life that most needs your attention right now and then write out all the details you saw of your soul's vision for this part of your life. What will that part of your life look like? How will achieving your goal change your life? How will it change the life of those around you? When you reach your goal, when you fulfill that desire, what will it make room for? Write that all down.
Then write down your inner goal. What is the one feeling you desire to feel most this year? How will you act differently if you were feeling that feeling all the time? How would people around you benefit? What would be different in your world?Write it out in great detail.
Soulful Action
Your Outer Goal: What is one action you can take today that will move you one step closer to your soul's vision? Make a commitment to take that action.
Your Inner Goal: What is one action you can take or one thought you can think that will support you in having more of the feeling you most desire?Take that action or think that thought today.
Soul Food: I am worthy of living my heart's desires.
Debbie Ford is the national best - selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, The Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Her new book is The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse (Harper Collins) . She conducts workshops across the country. She lives in California with her family.
More from Debbie Ford
- Are you ready for the 21-day cleanse? Take this quiz!
- Read an excerpt from the book
- Learn more about the consciousness cleanse
JAN 1 HORSERAISH RICHES SPELL - REIKI withTWEETLES LOVE
JAN 1 HORSERAISH RICHES SPELL - REIKI withTWEETLES LOVE
Rose Ariadne's Horseradish Riches Spell What you'll need:
* A thin slice of horseradish * One bill of paper money (any denomination) * One coin (of any denomination) * Your wallet/purse STEP 1: In the morning, on January 1st, setup a basic altar. STEP 2: Sit at your altar, close your eyes and say: "This is the beginning of best part of my life, for the rest of my life." STEP 3: Place your hand over the horseradish and say: "I charge you with the power of prosperity, to attract my next thought into being." STEP 4: Think about exactly what you desire most, financially, in the next year. Don't be too greedy... be realistic. (i.e. don't ask for a million dollars, but ask for enough so you don't have to worry about bills or your future...) Get as specific as you can... if it's a job that you seek, ask for it and visualize it. Think about how it will feel to achieve your wish...and exactly how your life would change. STEP 5: Wrap the horseradish and the coin in your paper bill. STEP 6: Place it in your wallet or purse and carry it in there for the entire year. If you change your wallet or purse for any reason during the year, make sure to transfer the bill (and the contents) to your new wallet/purse. STEP 7: On the next January 1st, do the ritual again with a new piece of horseradish, new bill, and new coin. Place the new items wrapped in the new bill into your wallet/purse, and THEN remove the old one. It's very important to put it in BEFORE taking out the old one. ---------------- Enjoy the prosperity that comes your way in 2011 and beyond
Goal-Setting Strategies from Life Coach Martha Beck - Oprah.com
Goal-Setting Strategies from Life Coach Martha Beck - Oprah.com
Oprah.com | December 15, 2010
"Life would be so great," said Ilsa, a fledgling entrepreneur, "if I could just start a business to pay all my bills." Another client, Sue, wanted to have a baby. "Being a mom would make me happier than anything in the world," she told me. Like any codependent life coach, I wanted everything for Ilsa and Sue that they wanted for themselves. I longed for a magic wand that would let me bippity-boppity-boo their dreams into reality, fairy godmother–style. Instead, I did the next best thing: I worked with them as they made to-do lists and financial plans and stocked up on computer software and folic acid.
Although it seemed like a good idea at the time, my boosterism had some significant blowback. You see, Ilsa's business did succeed, but its rapid growth required her to work like a pack mule. Sue eventually had a baby, who filled her heart with love—and her ears with colicky shrieking that nearly unhinged her. Both women were in more distress after achieving their goals than they'd ever been before.
I blame myself. In my fairy godmother role, I should've paid less attention to logistics and probed deeper into the reasons Ilsa and Sue had focused on those particular ambitions, because stated goals are quite magical. They dictate our attitudes and behavior and where we put our energy. But using magic inexpertly, as most fables (and almost every Harry Potter movie) can attest, is a bad idea. After years of helping clients like Sue and Ilsa, I learned how to help people set goals to get what they want without unintended consequences.
Words of Power
The difference between a dangerous spell—um, I mean goal—and a safe, effective one has everything to do with parts of speech. Most goal setters use mainly nouns and verbs ("I want my business to succeed," "I want to have a baby"). This frequently leads to either outright failure or the kind of success that doesn't make people nearly as happy as they expect. But there's another class of words that work much better—adjectives.
I've come to depend on adjectives because goals made of nouns and verbs are risky: They bring to mind "imagined situations," as opposed to "imagined experiences." The two are subtly but crucially different, and experiences, not situations, are always what we really want. Ilsa expected business success to produce feelings of contentment; Sue thought a baby would make her feel loved. Neither fully anticipated what would happen after they achieved their goals.
By using adjectives, you can avoid this trap by focusing all your efforts on the quality of the experience you want to create. This process is harder than "normal" goal setting—it requires some serious soul-searching and perhaps a good thesaurus—but it does pay off.
Next: Here's how to start
Step One: Pick a goal, any goal.
Think of a typical noun-verb goal, something for which you frequently hanker. Be honest rather than politically correct. Some people may have deep desires to establish world peace, stop global warming, and end poverty, but maybe you actually think more about, I dunno, reaching your target weight. And that's okay. This is not a beauty pageant (those contestants can afford to wish for world peace; they've all reached their target weight). What I want you to do is fess up to your real desires. Now pick the biggest, most ambitious one.
Step Two: Gaze into the future.
You don't need a crystal ball to see what's up ahead; the three pounds of gray matter between your ears will do fine. Use your brainpower right now to imagine what your life would be like if you realized the goal you just identified. Create a detailed fantasy about it. Loiter there awhile, observing your dream-come-true with your mind's eyes, ears, nose, skin. Then, clear your mind and your throat: It's time for the magic words.
Step Three: Generate adjectives.
This is the heart of a really effective goal-spell. Begin listing adjectives that describe how you feel in your dream-come-true scenario. This is a simple task, but not an easy one. It requires that you translate holistic, right-brain sensations into specific, left-brain words. Author Craig Childs compares this to "trying to build the sky out of sticks." Spend enough time in your imagined situation to let your brain leaf through its vocabulary, scouting out accurate adjectives. In goal setting as in fairy tales, the minimum magic number is three. Don't stop until you have at least that many ways to describe those lovely feelings.
My clients frequently try to squirm out of the process by muttering, "It's hard to explain," or "Oh, I don't know," or "I can't describe it." Well, of course it's hard to explain; yes, you do know; and if you keep trying, you can too describe it. Your adjectives don't have to be eloquent; use simple words like energetic, focused, delighted, andfine. But you owe it to yourself to persevere until you've found some reasonably descriptive words. Three of 'em. Write them down and then share them below in the comments:
1.____________________
2.____________________
3.____________________
Step Four: Focus on anything that can be described with your adjectives.
Drop the fantasy situation you imagined in step two and concentrate on those adjectives. You might notice that these three words bring your stated goal into sharper focus. For instance, if your New Year's resolution is to lose ten pounds—a noun-verb goal—but your adjectives are strong, confident, and healthy, you might realize that your actual aim is to get fit. You would see that the strategy you came up with to diet (i.e., eating your weight in hydroponic cabbage) might leave you thinner but also recumbent on a couch without the energy to leave the house—which isn't what you really want. Thanks to adjectives, you can fine-tune your strategy: Swap a fad diet for a meeting with a nutritionist, and sign up for weight training classes at the gym.
Sometimes tweaking isn't enough. Your adjective goal might utterly contradict your stated goal. Time to rethink that original target. For example, if you think you want to win an Academy Award, you may imagine your Oscar acceptance speech, and feel "valued, satisfied, and unstoppable." If you think that only a night at the Kodak Theatre will lead to those feelings, you might spend years obsessively pursuing movie stardom, ignoring everyone and everything except your ambition. Odds are you still wouldn't win an Oscar, but you'd probably get a rapacious ego that could inhale all manner of rewards without even noticing them. On the other hand, if you immediately begin focusing on aspects of your present life that make you feel valued, satisfied, or unstoppable, you'll feel an instant lift. All sorts of things may happen. Sure, you might win an Oscar. But if you don't find yourself onstage, blurting out that the statue sure is heavy, you'll be left with...a pretty good life. You might even find that as you follow the things that make you feel appreciated, you've tripped into an entirely different career. So starting now, survey your life for anything (I mean anything) that can be described with any of those three words. Putting all your attention on those aspects of your life will make you happier right now and help you create future situations that fulfill your true desires.
Next: The Science of Good Magic
The Science of Good Magic
I realize that all this sounds a little woo-woo, but psychological research on happiness backs up my strategy. Over and over, researchers studying happiness have found that the situational elements people crave—money, social status, possessions—don't reliably lead to an experience of well-being. By contrast, learning to find joy in the present moment (a.k.a. focusing on experiences you truly want in your life) increases life satisfaction, improves health, and allows us to live longer, more fulfilling lives.
My clients form my own database of sorts, convincing me that good goal-setting magic is (to use the social science terms) robust and valid. For example, when I asked Ilsa to go back in time and imagine what she once thought she'd get from a successful business, she described herself with the adjectives relaxed, joyful,and secure (ironically, the demands of her wildfire success made her feel tense, joyless, and insecure). When she scanned her life for activities and relationships that made her feel aligned with those adjectives, she found them everywhere: in gardening, reading novels, playing with her niece. "Damn!" she told me. "I'd already succeeded before I succeeded!" Indeed.
In Sue's case, remembering how she'd expected motherhood to make her feel yielded the adjectives loved, rejuvenated, and emotionally replenished. She realized that her noun-verb goal (having a baby who's beautiful and also colicky) actually created the opposite of her adjective goal—she felt unappreciated, haggard, and drained. It turned out that her magical adjectives described the way she felt when connecting with old friends. Both Ilsa and Sue managed to give more attention and time to the things that evoked the feelings they really wanted. (That's the beauty of adjective-based goals: They can work even when you're already suffering the consequences of unwise noun-verb spells.) Ilsa carved out time for reading and gardening; Sue put the baby in the bouncy seat and caught up with friends on Facebook.
These efforts helped Ilsa and Sue work and parent better, and handle the difficulties conjured by their original goals, all of which eased my fairy godmother guilt.
In other words, we lived happily ever after. So if you find yourself longing for some idealized goal, take a moment to go fishing for adjectives. Then use them to identify the aspects of your life that are already drawing you toward your heart's desires. Focusing on these people and activities will lead you gently toward even more fulfilling experiences. One day you may find yourself in a situation more interesting and delightful than anything you ever imagined. Listen closely and you'll hear my annoying little voice in your head, whispering, Bippity-boppity-boo.
More Goal-Setting Strategies From Martha Beck
How Three Simple (But Powerful) Words Can Put You On the Path to Happiness
Oprah.com | December 15, 2010
What do you need to make your dreams come true? Three wishes? Think again. Martha Beck on a goal-setting strategy that will get you where you want to go.
"Life would be so great," said Ilsa, a fledgling entrepreneur, "if I could just start a business to pay all my bills." Another client, Sue, wanted to have a baby. "Being a mom would make me happier than anything in the world," she told me. Like any codependent life coach, I wanted everything for Ilsa and Sue that they wanted for themselves. I longed for a magic wand that would let me bippity-boppity-boo their dreams into reality, fairy godmother–style. Instead, I did the next best thing: I worked with them as they made to-do lists and financial plans and stocked up on computer software and folic acid.
Although it seemed like a good idea at the time, my boosterism had some significant blowback. You see, Ilsa's business did succeed, but its rapid growth required her to work like a pack mule. Sue eventually had a baby, who filled her heart with love—and her ears with colicky shrieking that nearly unhinged her. Both women were in more distress after achieving their goals than they'd ever been before.
I blame myself. In my fairy godmother role, I should've paid less attention to logistics and probed deeper into the reasons Ilsa and Sue had focused on those particular ambitions, because stated goals are quite magical. They dictate our attitudes and behavior and where we put our energy. But using magic inexpertly, as most fables (and almost every Harry Potter movie) can attest, is a bad idea. After years of helping clients like Sue and Ilsa, I learned how to help people set goals to get what they want without unintended consequences.
Words of Power
The difference between a dangerous spell—um, I mean goal—and a safe, effective one has everything to do with parts of speech. Most goal setters use mainly nouns and verbs ("I want my business to succeed," "I want to have a baby"). This frequently leads to either outright failure or the kind of success that doesn't make people nearly as happy as they expect. But there's another class of words that work much better—adjectives.
I've come to depend on adjectives because goals made of nouns and verbs are risky: They bring to mind "imagined situations," as opposed to "imagined experiences." The two are subtly but crucially different, and experiences, not situations, are always what we really want. Ilsa expected business success to produce feelings of contentment; Sue thought a baby would make her feel loved. Neither fully anticipated what would happen after they achieved their goals.
By using adjectives, you can avoid this trap by focusing all your efforts on the quality of the experience you want to create. This process is harder than "normal" goal setting—it requires some serious soul-searching and perhaps a good thesaurus—but it does pay off.
Next: Here's how to start
Step One: Pick a goal, any goal.
Think of a typical noun-verb goal, something for which you frequently hanker. Be honest rather than politically correct. Some people may have deep desires to establish world peace, stop global warming, and end poverty, but maybe you actually think more about, I dunno, reaching your target weight. And that's okay. This is not a beauty pageant (those contestants can afford to wish for world peace; they've all reached their target weight). What I want you to do is fess up to your real desires. Now pick the biggest, most ambitious one.
Step Two: Gaze into the future.
You don't need a crystal ball to see what's up ahead; the three pounds of gray matter between your ears will do fine. Use your brainpower right now to imagine what your life would be like if you realized the goal you just identified. Create a detailed fantasy about it. Loiter there awhile, observing your dream-come-true with your mind's eyes, ears, nose, skin. Then, clear your mind and your throat: It's time for the magic words.
Step Three: Generate adjectives.
This is the heart of a really effective goal-spell. Begin listing adjectives that describe how you feel in your dream-come-true scenario. This is a simple task, but not an easy one. It requires that you translate holistic, right-brain sensations into specific, left-brain words. Author Craig Childs compares this to "trying to build the sky out of sticks." Spend enough time in your imagined situation to let your brain leaf through its vocabulary, scouting out accurate adjectives. In goal setting as in fairy tales, the minimum magic number is three. Don't stop until you have at least that many ways to describe those lovely feelings.
My clients frequently try to squirm out of the process by muttering, "It's hard to explain," or "Oh, I don't know," or "I can't describe it." Well, of course it's hard to explain; yes, you do know; and if you keep trying, you can too describe it. Your adjectives don't have to be eloquent; use simple words like energetic, focused, delighted, andfine. But you owe it to yourself to persevere until you've found some reasonably descriptive words. Three of 'em. Write them down and then share them below in the comments:
1.____________________
2.____________________
3.____________________
Step Four: Focus on anything that can be described with your adjectives.
Drop the fantasy situation you imagined in step two and concentrate on those adjectives. You might notice that these three words bring your stated goal into sharper focus. For instance, if your New Year's resolution is to lose ten pounds—a noun-verb goal—but your adjectives are strong, confident, and healthy, you might realize that your actual aim is to get fit. You would see that the strategy you came up with to diet (i.e., eating your weight in hydroponic cabbage) might leave you thinner but also recumbent on a couch without the energy to leave the house—which isn't what you really want. Thanks to adjectives, you can fine-tune your strategy: Swap a fad diet for a meeting with a nutritionist, and sign up for weight training classes at the gym.
Sometimes tweaking isn't enough. Your adjective goal might utterly contradict your stated goal. Time to rethink that original target. For example, if you think you want to win an Academy Award, you may imagine your Oscar acceptance speech, and feel "valued, satisfied, and unstoppable." If you think that only a night at the Kodak Theatre will lead to those feelings, you might spend years obsessively pursuing movie stardom, ignoring everyone and everything except your ambition. Odds are you still wouldn't win an Oscar, but you'd probably get a rapacious ego that could inhale all manner of rewards without even noticing them. On the other hand, if you immediately begin focusing on aspects of your present life that make you feel valued, satisfied, or unstoppable, you'll feel an instant lift. All sorts of things may happen. Sure, you might win an Oscar. But if you don't find yourself onstage, blurting out that the statue sure is heavy, you'll be left with...a pretty good life. You might even find that as you follow the things that make you feel appreciated, you've tripped into an entirely different career. So starting now, survey your life for anything (I mean anything) that can be described with any of those three words. Putting all your attention on those aspects of your life will make you happier right now and help you create future situations that fulfill your true desires.
Next: The Science of Good Magic
The Science of Good Magic
I realize that all this sounds a little woo-woo, but psychological research on happiness backs up my strategy. Over and over, researchers studying happiness have found that the situational elements people crave—money, social status, possessions—don't reliably lead to an experience of well-being. By contrast, learning to find joy in the present moment (a.k.a. focusing on experiences you truly want in your life) increases life satisfaction, improves health, and allows us to live longer, more fulfilling lives.
My clients form my own database of sorts, convincing me that good goal-setting magic is (to use the social science terms) robust and valid. For example, when I asked Ilsa to go back in time and imagine what she once thought she'd get from a successful business, she described herself with the adjectives relaxed, joyful,and secure (ironically, the demands of her wildfire success made her feel tense, joyless, and insecure). When she scanned her life for activities and relationships that made her feel aligned with those adjectives, she found them everywhere: in gardening, reading novels, playing with her niece. "Damn!" she told me. "I'd already succeeded before I succeeded!" Indeed.
In Sue's case, remembering how she'd expected motherhood to make her feel yielded the adjectives loved, rejuvenated, and emotionally replenished. She realized that her noun-verb goal (having a baby who's beautiful and also colicky) actually created the opposite of her adjective goal—she felt unappreciated, haggard, and drained. It turned out that her magical adjectives described the way she felt when connecting with old friends. Both Ilsa and Sue managed to give more attention and time to the things that evoked the feelings they really wanted. (That's the beauty of adjective-based goals: They can work even when you're already suffering the consequences of unwise noun-verb spells.) Ilsa carved out time for reading and gardening; Sue put the baby in the bouncy seat and caught up with friends on Facebook.
These efforts helped Ilsa and Sue work and parent better, and handle the difficulties conjured by their original goals, all of which eased my fairy godmother guilt.
In other words, we lived happily ever after. So if you find yourself longing for some idealized goal, take a moment to go fishing for adjectives. Then use them to identify the aspects of your life that are already drawing you toward your heart's desires. Focusing on these people and activities will lead you gently toward even more fulfilling experiences. One day you may find yourself in a situation more interesting and delightful than anything you ever imagined. Listen closely and you'll hear my annoying little voice in your head, whispering, Bippity-boppity-boo.
More Goal-Setting Strategies From Martha Beck
- How to (finally!) keep your New Year's resolutions
- How to keep from being overwhelmed
- Are you on the right course?
Animal Protection and Wildlife Conservation Organisations Applaud European Parliament Defence of Endangered Animals : The Humane Society of the United States
Animal Protection and Wildlife Conservation Organisations Applaud European Parliament Defence of Endangered Animals : The Humane Society of the United States
They are so close. Won't you please help.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Things That You Need To Know About Your Energy SystemA lot of people who just start their adventure with psychic development isn’t really familiar with the way out energy body works. For all those, I’ve prepared this article, that describes the way we use Tan Tien’s and Chakras in our psychic development. This knowledge is very useful for every beginner and more advanced psychic practitioner. How Does Psychic Stuff WorksSo how actually psychic stuff works? As you already know, it’s all about psychic energy. If you want to use psychic abilities, you need fuel – the energy. This energy can be acquired from many different sources - trees, plants, mountains, rivers, oceans, food, other people. The energy you collect is then transfered to something called a Tan Tien. Tan Tien is a name for three areas of your energy body – abdomen, heart and head. These areas are collectingpsychic energies – Chi, Prana, Ruah or whatever you’re going to call them, for further use. Going Up The Tan Tien’sThe energy that you gather from all around you is being transfered into the Tan Tien’s.
Now, understand that you cannot push energies directly into specific Tan Tien. So you cannot fill the upper Tan Tien, without filling the bottom and the middle storages first. Why? Because:
Ergo, the more energies you collect, the more energies you’re using, and the greater the effects are. Moving Down The ChakrasWhat about Chakras? If you have enough energy in your Tan Tien, the energies are using them for specific purposes. Now think about it. First Tan Tien is very physical, just as first 2 chakras are. Second Tan Tien is about emotions and your mental state – so are the next 3 chakras. Finally, third Tan Tien is about psychic abilities and spirituality, so are the last 2 chakras. You might see now where I’m going with this. Chakras takes energies from the Tan Tien’s – they use the energies to power the entire body, all the bodies (physical, energy, astral and mental bodies). The more energy you have, the more energy chakras use, and therefore, they need to evolve further – open up further. This is what we know as process of opening chakras. Therefore, some of you who bought Psychic Development Simplified will start to understand what this whole New Energy Ways is needed for, and why do you need to rise your energies (I have wrote an entire section about this process), and this is why Yoga, Tai Chi Chuan, Chi Kung and other energy practices might lead to developing your own psychic powers. You’re just gathering more energy, and chakras need to respond to this, thus - evolve and open further. Once the chakras are open and ready to transfer a lot more energies than normal people transfer, you might wonder what happen if you will run out of energies – because you might run out of them. Well – you might experience lower psychic sensitivity, and it will be more difficult to focus on spiritual growth. You might experience emotional and mental problems, finally illness and physical problems. But the chakras will be opened already. Thus – all you have to do to regain previous psychic state is to collect enough energies to fill all three Tan Tiens – damn, it’s so beautiful simple! Things That Gives Us Energy, Things That Take Our EnergyHow do you deplete energies? Through many things, actually.
And how do you gain psychic energies?
Therefore, keep collecting more and more energies, and you’ll be OK :). Now, you understand how the energies inside our body works, and how they influence psychic abilities. With this knowledge, all you have to do is to find a good system of collecting energies – |
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